I told him that was a huge relief to hear because so many people have judged me for it. He said the same as his, they didn’t think too much of it. I forget what sparked this conversation when I asked him if he told his parents that I was engaged - he did. We’ve talked about it lightly and he’s made it clear it doesn’t bother him that a called off engagement is part of my past. He’s never pried for details and I never felt obligated to initiate a conversation about it. What really felt like a punch to the gut was when I was talking to my boyfriend about the drama that happened with my ex. Why was dumping my cheating ex a situation that would keep me bedridden. I felt confused, again, for why people thought a failed engagement was such a terrible thing.
I want to believe her intention was not to hurt me. Her comment was harmless and I didn’t think differently of her for saying it. I can't believe she's starting over so late in life”. You know she called off her engagement? I’m happy she’s out of the house, I would be in bed eating ice cream for months if that happened to me. She proceeded to say, “I ran into Wendy’s daughter. Later that night we were both in the bathroom, she was chatting with someone at the sinks and she didn’t realize I was in one of the stalls. A few months ago I was at a restaurant where I ran into one of my Mom’s friends. People would say how shocked they were that I could carry on or bounce back so quickly. Most people had a ton of sympathy, but it was almost too much sympathy like I was just diagnosed with a terminal illness. Not everyone was so obliviously cruel like the guy from high school. I wasn’t pointing out his bald spot or bringing up how he peaked at 17, but here he was telling me I’m lucky for looking decent considering how ‘old’ I am (I was 29 at the time). Even though this off handed comment was the least of my problems, it still didn’t feel great. Without asking him why, he proceeded to say, "most people your age would be so much worse off. He continued to say I was lucky to be in my situation. I hadn’t seen him in a few years and he immediately says, “I heard what happened”. I was out at a bar a month or two after my break up and I ran into a guy I went to high school with. Why was it viewed so negatively and why did people care? What bothered me the most was the stigma surrounding my called off engagement. That didn’t bother me as much because I knew they were being sensitive to my feelings. For the most part, people were afraid to bring it up. People treated me differently for months after. Some of my favorite rumors were - she was bad in bed if cheated on her, she was cheating on him first, she was crazy, she was with him for money. People love a dramatic story and my story was something people couldn’t stop talking about.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many rumors went around about why I called off my engagement.
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